A recently retired Cochrane educator saddened by the news of the tragic murder of mother and former Rocky View Schools teacher Ania Kaminski is offering some timely advice for parents and kids grappling with their grief.
Bill Belsey was a dedicated teacher in northern Canada and Alberta, most recently at Rancheview School in Cochrane.
“This horrific act leaves us deeply saddened for her remaining family, friends, colleagues and the students at Cochrane's Elizabeth Barrett School, where she taught,” he said.
Kaminski, 33, was killed in Calgary after a Christmas Day domestic dispute escalated, leaving behind three young children. She was shot on the evening of Dec. 29, as was her father Stanislaw Wardzala at a separate location.
Her husband’s body was found near Water Valley on Dec. 30.
Belsey said he wanted to share some of what he learned about grief from his teaching days.
“When there’s a tragedy, some parents don’t know, despite their best intentions, what to say,” he said. “Something so absolutely horrific like this, even people with experience are challenged to figure it out."
Belsey said he was thinking of the kids left behind, and also of students at Elizabeth Barrett, so he decided to put his ‘teacher’s hat back on.’
He draws on 40 years experience with in the education system. He was in schools up north where students and staff had taken their own lives.
“You know, what do you say? How do you approach this? What do you do right now?”
Belsey said he was moved to take to Facebook this week, as a way of letting people know there are things they can do to perhaps feel like they’re being proactive.
“As an adult community, we may feel powerless in the face of such calamity, but we are not. There is education, and then there are actions we can take,” Belsey said.
RVS will provide counsellors for the school community when school resumes, but that is days away.
Until then, Belsey provided a checklist for addressing tragedy with children.
Be honest and simple: Share the facts in an age-appropriate language without overwhelming details.
Acknowledge Feelings: Validate their emotions and express your own calmly to model healthy coping.
Reassure Safety: Emphasize that such events are rare and highlight the measures to keep them safe.
Limit Media Exposure: Protect them from repetitive or graphic news coverage.
Maintain Routines: Preserve normalcy to provide stability.
Encourage Questions: Let them lead the conversation and revisit it as needed.
Seek professional counselling: If you deem it appropriate for your child.
Belsey also suggested, “taking your feelings and turning them into action” by donating to Big Hill Haven and writing MLA Peter Guthrie to advocate for more financial support for domestic abuse in Cochrane.
The Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters (ACWS) released a survey that said shelters answered almost 60,000 calls in 2022-2023 — the highest number of domestic violence cases in the past 10 years.
The new data suggests a 12.5 per cent increase in calls for help from the previous year. The severity of calls also increased.
More than 65 per cent were at severe or extreme risk of being killed by a current or former partner. Fifty-one per cent believed their partner was capable of killing them.
While 3,561 children were sheltered in 2022-2023, 8,020 children were unable to be sheltered because shelters did not have enough space to meet the level of demand.
Police-reported intimate partner violence against women in urban areas was 535 incidents per 100,000 population, higher than the national average of 461. Additionally, only 19% of shelter requests were accommodated due to space shortages, leaving many victims without support.
Helpful Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse in Cochrane, the following resources can provide support:
Big Hill Haven offers emergency shelter, counselling, safety planning, and advocacy. For assistance, call 403-796-6564.
Cochrane and Area Victim Services provides crisis support and links to police investigations—contact 403-851-8055.
Cochrane Family & Community Support Services (FCSS): Offers social support and referrals. Call 403-851-2250.
Family Violence Info Line: 24/7 for advice and referrals at 310-1818.
Cochrane Counselling Centre: Provides counselling for individuals and families. Call 587-441-3902.
In emergencies, call 911.
