People in their 20’s will think the story that’s about to fill this space is at least possible.
Those in their teens will say the man is a nut case, this stuff really never happened.
But I digress.
The story is about a young man talking to his grandfather and wondering what the elder thought about current affairs, shootings at schools, the computer age and things in general.
Don’t go away now because the answer at the end will blow you away.
After the question was asked, the grandfather sat back for a second to think about the question then said, “You might not believe this; but I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, Frisbees and the pill. There were no credit cards or laser beams. Man had yet to invent a clothes dryer so we hung the clothes out to dry in the fresh air and man had not yet walked on the moon.
“Your grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together and every family had a father and mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, ‘Sir.’ After I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’ We were before gay rights, computer-dating, dual careers and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent and having a meaningful relationship was getting along with your cousins.
Draft-dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started, and time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends – not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD’s, electric typewriters or guys wearing earrings. We listened to Big Band music, and I don’t remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
“The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your math exam at school. Pizza Hut and McDonald’s were unheard of and we had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
“Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar and Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail one letter or two postcards. You could buy a new Ford for $600, but who could afford one? Gasoline, though, was under a quarter a gallon.
“In my day: ‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a soft drink, ‘pot’ was something mom cooked food in and ‘rock music’ was grandma’s lullaby. ‘Aids’ were helpers in the principal’s office, ‘chip’ was a piece of wood, ‘hardware’ was found in a hardware store and ‘software’ wasn’t even a word.
“We were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us ‘old and confused’ and say there is a generation gap.”
If you have read this far I’m thinking you have this grizzled old man in mind, slowly creeping along with the aid of a cane or even a wheelchair. Hold on for a second.
The result is pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.
ARE YOU READY?
The person doing the talking above would have been only 60 years old, born in 1952. Doesn’t that give you something to think about?
Today’s joke is a little longer than regular, but funny just the same.
The old farmer had a pond on his property and was heading down for a pail of water. As he neared the water, he heard the sounds of six young ladies skinny dipping in his pond. As he was noticed the girls screamed and, one said, “we’re not coming out until you go away.”
The old man simply looked up and said: “I have no interest in seeing you youngsters in the nude; I’m just here to feed my alligators.”
The moral of the story is don’t mess with the older generation.
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a few bottles of beer.
